Why it's Important to Know and Support Our Kids’ Passion

All my life I have struggled trying to figure out what I really wanted for myself—career wise. Did I really want to become a nurse or was it because I was coerced by my family to attend nursing school? Have I wanted to be in a rock band? (Hence, the late night gigs when I was in college). Or maybe become a famous opera singer like Anna Netrebko and live a life of luxury and wonderful appearances. But what is it really that I wanted to do? What was it that I wanted to be?

Sometimes you get a feeling of uncertainty when you’re not really sure if you’re on the right track. You doubt everything that is happening in your life and you sometimes lose motivation in what you are doing. You get easily burned out by the daily routines and tasks you have to do in life. However, there is this popular belief that if we do what we are passionate about, we won't feel tired of doing what we do. You can get by with a few hours of sleep and you won’t stop until you get what you want or what you think you deserve.

Sometimes when I look at other people, I feel like they are happy and satisfied with their lives. And sometimes I wonder if I really am. Don't get me wrong. To me, being a mom is my greatest achievement so I am not gonna complain about that. But something inside says we can always do better even if we have already reached our greatest potential.

Ever since I was young, most of the things I did has been decided on by my mom. Get math and English tutorials, be enrolled in Taekwondo instead of Karate (cause I wanted Karate), stop taking piano classes because your piano teacher is moving away and no one's gonna bring you to piano classes if we enroll you with a different piano teacher etc. I wanted to enter a music conservatory for voice or opera after I graduated high school but my family always had reasons why I can't go to the conservatory or why I can't go to Manila (music conservatories were only available in Manila at that time). I think it was because they didn't trust me, they were scared for me, they were worried about me since I'll be far away from home and because there is no money in music. Because of these reasons, I ended up taking the path they wanted for me as if I didn't have any other choice. So this made me wonder. What if they allowed me to do what I wanted or supported me, would I have achieved something I really wanted? Would I be satisfied with my life? Would I have realized my passion sooner? Unfortunately for me, I just realized my passion when I was already in my thirties. I realized that I really wanted to pursue music.

There is a good thing that came out of not being able to find my passion earlier though. Because of this experience, I promised myself that I won’t be that mom obsessed with my child having great academic performance but instead I want to be that mom who supports her kids’ passion no matter what it is. I mean formal education is still important but if my daughter likes dancing ballet, I will support her. If she likes acting and wants to take up acting lessons, I will support her. Even if it’s becoming a street vendor, I will… just like when she said she wanted to sell Taho (Taho, by the way, is a traditional Filipino snack made up of some soya, jelly pearls and vanilla syrup… it’s good). Who knows my daughter might be business minded. So yeah… I’ll support her until she discovers what it is she really wants to do in life.

Our role as parents is very important to our kids’ success. And we should always remember that their success is based on doing what they really love. Finding their passion and supporting them while they grow will help them reach their dreams. And their dreams are theirs to achieve and for us to support. We don’t have the right to push them to achieve the dream we want for them. Or let them fulfill the dreams we once had.

You might be saying, their passion might not be profitable in the future. It might not make them rich. Well, let me tell you this. Even if your kids get a great and high paying job, if they don’t like it, they won’t be happy and they can’t fully be successful. They might not even perform well with the task given to them. They might just be doing it because it’s a source of income or just because they have to. It will just be a routine for them. But when it’s something they love to do, money will follow. Raising people who won’t give up in achieving their dreams when challenges arise, those are the people who become successful. These are the people who, no matter what, will do everything they can to achieve their goals. And these are the people we want our kids to become, people who don't quit on what they really want.

Let me give you an example. There’s this girl. (You can do research about her and how her parents contributed to her success at such a young age.) Her name is Akiane Kramarik. She started painting when she was very young. She started maybe around 4 years old. Her parents supported her. They said it would come to a time when she would lock herself up for 14 hours straight in her studio just painting as she was growing up. And because of her love for painting, she never really had formal education. Her parents saw the potential and passion in her so they let her be. Eventually, she became the family’s breadwinner and all her family members are working for her now. Her paintings are selling like hot cakes. At age 12, she already had her own mansion.

Of course not all of us are blessed with having a kid like her. But this is where we, as parents, enter. We need to help our kids discover what it is they might love doing. Are they interested in singing? Are they interested in playing the guitar? That is our job as parents. So from an early age, we need to expose them to different things and different hobbies. It’s all about finding the right thing for them. We need to listen, observe and take action.

My daughter as well is not one of those super gifted kids. She has a very short attention span and easily gets bored. We tried to enroll her in ballet when she was just 2 and a half years old just to expose her to that. At first she would participate only for 10 minutes then roam around the studio or go to me or play with other ballet students the rest of the time. And if she feels like it again, she’ll go back and participate. So after a few classes, I decided not to enroll her anymore thinking she must not be interested or that she might be too young to understand what was going on (we never forced her to do anything but we just let her be). One thing I am sure about though is her interest in music. Anything about music. Now it’s up to me and my husband to take on the task of helping her discover what it is she wants. After a few months though, when my daughter was three years old, she was the one who told us that she wanted to learn ballet again. We enrolled her and supported her and she finally had her first recital. We also noticed that our daughter is more graceful than other kids (I am not kidding or saying it because she's my daughter). Until now, she is still into ballet. There are times she'd pick up her tutu or ballet leotards, wear her stockings and ballet shoes and just simply dance. Unfortunately, we had to let her stop for the mean time because of the pandemic and online classes were not working for her. We, as parents, also think that teachers cannot really check their form and exact movements which might become damaging to their posture in the future. But definitely, we'd let her have those classes again once face to face classes are already allowed. Now, I am also exposing her to acting, singing and playing the piano (all of these was her choice). Since I am the one teaching her these three things, we don't do it regularly and we only do it when she feels like it. I am letting her take it all in a stride. But once she tells me she's interested, without hesitation I'll sit with her and teach her or coach her. We’ll see how it goes from there.

The thing is we need to allow them to find their passion even if it means being patient while they’re in the process of figuring it out. (I know sometimes it is so difficult to be patient with kids. I, myself, am guilty of this.) We’ll know for sure what they’re interested in and what they're passionate about once their interest in an activity they're doing doesn’t die down. Meaning, the excitement will always be there, the happiness will be visible and though difficulties and challenges arise, they won’t back down and give up. Instead, they would tell themselves that they definitely know they can do it.

As parents, our role is to help them find that spark starting from when they are young. Help them figure things out, support them and be there for them. Cheer them on, work hard to support them financially and be that shoulder they can lean on in times of difficulties.

I know it might be challenging as we were brought up in a society that values academic excellence more than the non-traditional way of learning. We were brought up in a society that makes us believe we need to excel in our academics so we can get good and high paying jobs. However, not all kids were born to be academic performers or have 9 to 5 jobs. Some were born to be great musicians, singers, dancers, painters or even actors. We just have to keep an open mind, help them figure it out and support them.

#PassionandSuccess #SupportingKidsPassion #PerformingArts #AcademicExcellence